Online job applications.


Is there some job application association I can submit a formal complaint to? …Or informal? I don’t mind screaming into someone’s ear. It’s hard for me to stay calm enough to form complete sentences so I can explain just how frustrated I am. Here it goes:


Not even five minutes ago, I was filling out a job application for a company because I heard they were hiring and I’m in desperate need of a job. It was an online application, and I became frustrated at how it wouldn’t accept certain answers, like my salary for a previous job, because the idiots who make you fill out this crap don’t have enough foresight in their measly little brains to think about the fact that some people don’t get paid hourly (it was a flat rate). I run into this sort of thing ALL THE TIME in online job applications. If you’re going to ask specific questions, at least give room to explain the special cases! Plus, they ask all sorts of pointless things like, “Are you: a) organized or b) artistic?” WELL CAN’T I BE BOTH?! (This question was found in another company’s application.) And they don’t think to ask something important that might clear up some misunderstandings like, “Are you currently a student?” That way, they won’t see that I haven’t graduated college and make the assumption that I dropped out.


Getting back to the pointless questions, I just wanted to say, I HATE THEM SO MUCH! (Wow, is this the first time I’ve used caps lock in a post? I feel like a whiney ten-year-old complaining about parents on the Internet. Once your parents finally understand you, the job applications don’t. It’s always something…) Anyway, if you’ve ever filled out an online job application, then you know about those questions at the end that look like one of those personality quizzes on Facebook, like “Who’s Your Celebrity Boyfriend?” The applications ask questions that take forever because you’re always second guessing yourself, making sure your answers won’t make you seem immature or unsociable. My longest online job application took me 4 hours, and I wish I could tell you for which business it was, but by the time I submitted, I had forgotten where I was applying. Anyway, my point is that these online applications are hell. There are, I kid you not, usually well over 100 questions about how easily you socialize at parties. What ever happened to the days where you would give them your name and they’d learn about you through real human interaction called a “job interview”? See what Facebook has done?!


That was a long but necessary tangent. Anyway, back to the application I was working on. So after taking almost an hour to fill out my education and employment history (which is sad, because I’ve only held one job. For a month. My brother was my supervisor), working around setbacks like the before mentioned application creators’ lack of foresight, I was finally able to move on. When I clicked the next page button, I was presented with a happy picture of their employees smiling (who I’m assuming by this point must have been hired actors) and text that went a little something like this: “The page has expired. Click here to start over.”


Yeah…… I screamed.


Well, I tried. I hear you can make a decent amount of money begging…


And my parents wonder why I don’t fill out very many job applications.